"Pretty Remarkable"

I really don't even know where to begin with this blog entry. I am at a loss for words. And if you know me well enough..you know that doesn't happen often. Or ever really.

but today I am. Since tuesday I have gotten the nicest most encouraging emails from dear friends of mine that I haven't spoken to in years.

If you all do not mind, I would like to share a bit with you...a few excerpts from some of the emails. Like I mentioned before, I am a saver and this is the perfect place to save...

Throughout life I have gotten close to a lot of people. Of no fault of our own, for some reason we go our seperate ways...someone moves and you gradually lose touch. This was from an email of one of my closest friends in college. For a time we were inseperable... When I think back of the memories I had in college he is always included. I have always been thankful for his friendship and thankful for this email...

"well, i just want to be one of your friends from the past that says, you being gay doesn't change your essense, nor my opinion of it. and it sure as hell doesn't change the Father's opinion of your essense."

This impacted me so much when I read it. Because nothing makes me more happy than to know that being Gay and Loving Jesus are not mutually exclusive any longer. For such a long time that was the case for me. But my friend did sum it up when he said that "it sure as hell doesn't change the Father's opinion of your essense".

High School was really fun for me. I was in band and had a lot of really good friends in band. Some I wished I would have opened up to a long long time ago. Out of the group of friends I hung out with, many turned out to be gay. It meant a lot when one of those friends sent me this...

"So...I've been reading your blog. Thanks for sharing such a personal topic with everyone in such raw form."

I decided a long time ago that I was going to be open and honest with people from here on out. This is me...this is who I am.

In college I was involved in a lot of speech and theatre activities. One of the plays I was cast in was Stonewall Jackson's House. This play was controversial in the small southern baptist school that I attended because it dealt with a lot of issues (i.e. racism, etc). There were four of us that were cast for this play and it is amazing how close you become to the other cast members. My 'wife' in the play sent this...

"I read your blog, and I felt like at least, in some corner of the world, someone quit running and stood and were themselves. For that I am proud of you."

I can't even begin to describe to you how good it felt when I decided to stop running and just be myself. There was such a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

There is someone who has come back into my life recently that I am so thankful for. She is one of those friends that are in it for the long haul. Not sure why we fell out of touch, but over the past 6 months or so our friendship is getting back to the point it was in middle school and high school. She sent me this last night...

"i think its witty and sweet and i want to be one of the friends that you can rely on for support and love..... just know that i DO love you... having you back in my life has meant a lot to me!"

I will get into this a lot more later, but before I came out...that was my biggest fear. That all of my friends and family would abandon me and leave me stranded to pick up the pieces. It means so much to know that I can rely on so many people for their support and love.

Like I mentioned before...my friends are my family. I have always placed them in that capacity. Thank you for taking the time to reach out. It means so much.